The perfect chain mail response......

“I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and
trouble to send me your stupid chain letters over the
past few years.

Yes, thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of what's left of my heart for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.

Because of your concern...I no longer can drink Coca
Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer use Gladwrap in the microwave because it
causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones
because I could be pricked with a needle infected with
AIDS.

I no longer use margarine because it's one molecule away from being plastic.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will
drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from Austpost or TNT Express since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my
prayers if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. (man, the BIBLE did not mention it works that way!)

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the
1,387,258th time).

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for
looking out for me!

I will now return the favor.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhoea will mess on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your armpits.

I know this will occur because it actually happened to
a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's 8th husband's 2nd cousin's 3rd husband's ex-wife's mother's beautician!
........

Have a great Year 2006”